Thursday, June 11, 2015

Peer Responses (5-9)

Week 5
Alex Varsik,

     You picked a good quote, but it seems that you just summarized the story rather than explain the quotes importance to the story. Next time make sure you review what a crux theme is. I enjoyed the quote you chose because it is an important instance where the author questions the audience. Like you said, the author spent most of the beginning convincing the audience how great a place Omelas was, insisting any of their wildest dreams would come true there.The quote you chose really emphasizes the fact that the happiness is an allusion. It is also a foreshadowing to the alarming event that the reader was approaching. You give a good idea of what the moral of the story is, stating how nothing is free, happiness has consequences. If you incorporated this into your interpretation of the quote, that would have added an intriguing side to your story. Lastly, make sure to use MLA format.

Tom Rossi,

      I am impressed with everything that you took out of this quote since I just got done reading another reflection on this quote, great to see two sides of the story. I believe this quote is pivotal for many reasons such as it's foreshadowing aspect, as well as the doubt that it presents in the root of the happiness in Omelas. You presented many points that I thought of as well while I was reading, such that the child represents society. It makes sense since in society is always criticizing those for various reasons and that creates a false image of what is a good or bad lifestyle. Your hint at how Omelas is sheltered is interesting as well, since it seems that the people of Omelas have the idea that they are the center of the world, thus implying that everyone is happy. Remember to stay in MLA format and use more quotes.




Week 6

Micheal Kelly,

      Reading this post was enjoyable because it was nice to peek inside the mind of someone other than Offred. Your interpretation was interesting because you gave him the light of actually being a decent man, I had pictured him as someone who was willing to take advantage of a defensless woman. That is why I enjoyed reading this because truly it is impossible to know what the doctor's motive due to the first person point of view, this gives an alternate point of view. First I want to point out that I believe the commander and his wife also try and reproduce? It is not clear if they are still trying now, maybe the wife cannot reproduce. The commander seems to be an old man, it is troubling why people around him are not coming to the conclusion that he is sterile. Remember to stay in MLA format, I know this is a diary submission but there must be some rules that need to be followed. Also, try and be careful of spelling errors. You used body's instead of the plural for bodies in the third paragraph. Lastly, some of your sentences are choppy and disturb the flow of the piece, concise statements are encouraged but make sure they are developed.

John Gilligan,

      The quote you chose perfectly explains the whole system in Gilead. Authorities in Gilead believe that what they are doing to women is for their own good. There are two sides to this quote just like you explained. Yes, women are "protected", they are protected from being violated and raped, but that is only because they are completely subdued by the society, they have no real freedoms. Men in Gilead have much more freedom than women. But even so the freedom to love who you want is taken away. You did a great job with MLA format, margins and everything. You used great in text citations. It is nice that you used evicence from our world around us, and clearly that evidence adds to the understanding of the whole story, but more evidence from the text would have carried this piece a longer way. Also the point of crux is to prove how this piece of text is a turning point, or reveal major concern. If you related this quote directly to Offred it may have helped you develope a reason why this quote was a turning point to the story. Overall good job and continue following MLA rules.

Week 7

Yaroslav Savchuk,

      This quote was a pivotal point in the story, and clearly a turning point because it shows the human side of the commander, while he breaks the rules too. The commander is the man of the house, and men in general rule Gilead, but even in this world men are still held back, they do not have freedom to love who they want. In the commander's case, he does not even have the freedom to have sex with who he wants, that is why Offred is there. The game of scrabble gives Offred an opportunity to use skills that she has not used in a long while, and the commander is giving her that opportunity which is really surprising. Your crux of this quote is pretty good.

      In terms of your writing you did not use any MLA format. You provided a works cited, but did not use any in text citations. All your evidence is taken from the book obviously but its good to get in the rhythm of using real citations. Also, try using better terminology. You said that the commander was trying to "get some". I think there are other ways to imply that he may have been trying to have sexual relations with Offred.

Jasmine Mortazavi,

      The quote you chose is very important and connects to not only Offred but every handmaid. Moira is a symbol of hope and freedom for the handmaids. She escaped the tyranny, the lifestyle. For women this is probably only something that they could dream about. Moira is another underlying factor for Offred to continue grinding through this mess and to continue being rebellious. You make great points but I believe that you fail to go deeper into the meaning and symbolism of Moira. Moira is a light for Offred, but Offred is not the only one who knew Moira. Moira represents a fault in the whole system of Gilead, she got away. It is unknown as to what she is doing right now, and that is the whole beauty of Moiras story, she is alone. She is no longer part of the system. I believe you spent too much time explaining the situation and moiras story rather than explaing how the quote is a turning point to a handmaid's life. Still, the quote was good and your points were valid but more details would have been good. Other than that great MLA format and citations, next time make sure to include a works cited.

Week 8
Jordan Gilber,

      Your quote is an interesting picture of how Offred is having some identity issues. Offred is not only Offred, she is a human being with a different life and background being forced into this new life. Her life is not "new" but it is still a drastic change. Your points on surveillance and scrutiny of Gilead is important, and I can see how it relates to the quote in terms of how that society has made Offred feel this way, but I feel as if you did not relate this quote closely enough to Offred. Crux is to prove how a piece of text is a turning point to the story, how is this quote relevant? Yes, Offred is fighting against the people oppressing her in various ways, but I feel as if this point does not relate to the quote. Also your essay is in MLA format visually, but you did not cite the quote, nor did you use any in text citations. Along with this you failed to include a works cited. I am just pointing this out because it is important to break bad habits, this advice is something that I should listen to as well. Next time try finding more direct evidence to a piece of text.
Alex Varsik,

      Great comparison between two stories. Your quote relates to both stories so well that if you quoted it and put (Leguin pg 211) after it you may have even fooled me! HA! With that being said, it is evident in the historical note after the story that the commander was actually a founding father to the city of Gilead. The fact that this quote came from him implies that this is an ideology which he himself used to reason with. We know that the commander has been kind to Offred, by playing scrabble with her, but beneath this kindness is this thought which you quoted. Even after his kindness he still believes this way. This quote along with many others is another example of how every day life of Gilead is. With compensation, occupation gets thrown under the rug. You use evidence to show how the citizens cope with the oppression, and this coping mechanism makes life a little easier. That is the meaning of this quote. You use correct MLA format, which is great, and use in text citations perfectly. It is important to practice MLA format. One thing to remember is to include a works cited. You used two texts so it is important to include every work you use.

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